This is not a happy "Happy Mother's Day" post

 Happy Mother's Day. 

I don't like the holiday much myself. In the game of life, I got a dud as a mom, as do many people. My biggest takeaway from my childhood is that I learned how not to be —how not to love and care for children. 

Instead, I think of what my mom would have done, or did act and do the opposite. That little advice I gave myself years ago has served me well. Not that I feel like I'm a good mom, but I do show love to my children. And they love me back. I'd die for them if they needed me to. 

It is never about me, like it was so glaringly about my mom. Now that my kids are grown and successful in their own way, I have time for myself and my likes. I was worth the wait.  

 If I were a professional able to diagnose someone, I'd say she was a narcissist, the kind with a capital N- Narcissist. It was always about her. Her whims, her needs, her schedule, her accolades. 

We kids were there as props in the Brenda show. It has taken me years to feel peace about my childhood. Many were neglected and abused, so I am not special in that regard. But it does take a toll on anyone going through it. Some never come out of it healed. I like to think I am. 

Since I don't have a mom to wish a Happy Mother's Day to, I wish it to myself and others who had terrible, subpar moms. I want to tell you you are enough, you deserve love, and I see you. 

Here is a poem I wrote a few years ago-

 Mama

The name you call out when you hurt.

Mama

The one who loves 

You more than anyone else. 

Or should anyway. 

Mama, help me. 

Mama, I need.

Mama, mama. Mama. 

The space in the gap between calling 

Out to her, and when she responds 

It can seem like an eternity.

Especially if you call her and she doesn’t answer back. 

Mama. 

Pamela Roy 

 

 Hello Family! 

My name is Pam. I have six adult children, one lovely granddaughter, and a lovely husband of 36 years! A year and a half ago, a great job landed in my lap, and I took the chance to try my hand at writing entertainment articles. 

Now, things are changing with the advent of AI becoming mainstream, and changes with Google and all sorts of SEO stuff I don't understand. 

I find myself at a crossroads. My job, which I loved at MonstersandCritics.com, is ending, and I need to find something new. 

I love writing and having a purpose apart from raising children and caring for my husband. Life circumstances make working outside the home impossible for me, and MonstersandCritics.com was the perfect way for me to find my voice and be seen. 

I wrote about Kelly Ripa there. Last week was a good week for her family. Her youngest son, Joaquin, graduated from the University of Michigan. 

Then she and her husband, Mark Consuelos, celebrated 29 years of marriage. 

Pic credit: @kellyripa/Instagram

I also covered the show The View. Whoopi Goldberg is a mainstay on The View, and she was at the Met Gala last night. Tom Leonardis, a close friend of Whoopi's, posted a shot of her nails ahead of the show. 

Pic credit: @tomleonardis/Instagram

Another great personality on The View is Sara Haines. She is known for seamlessly juggling her job and her family. 

She posted this great photo on her Instagram recently. 

Pic credit: @sarahaines/Instagram

Sara shared that she is "'Sara' to most. 'Mama' to my kids. 'Boo' to my husband. 'Mrs. Shifrin' to my kid's friends. 'Spanky' to my former volleyball teammates. 'Sarah' (with an H) to baristas at Starbucks, and people don't know me well."

Don't underestimate Sara. She wears all those hats well. 

I also covered the Royal family, but they have had a rough week. Prince Harry lost his court case, which needs another blog entry, and that is for another day. 

I don't know what I will do ultimately, but this little blog is enough for today. I will leave you with a throwback photo I found looking for a Zoo Tycoon file. 

This photo is almost 20 years old, and I love it!